Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Bishop Eddie Long

I first got to know about the Honorable Bishop Eddie Long by way of a trip that Roosevelt and I took to Atlanta about eight years ago. Roosevelt didn't tell me a word about where he was taking me so the whole thing was a surprise. All I remember is that when we got to the Atlanta area, Roosevelt took the wheel of my 150 and headed to this big ole new-fangled church. We went in and here was this massive hulking good looking fella with smooth dark skin who firmly gripped my hand and welcomed me into his house of worship. Before we knew it, we were in a back room in intense Bible study quoting scripture about how God and Sweet Baby Jesus fought for the traditional family unit. It started to get hot in that back room after three hours of reading and discussing so Bishop Long took off his shirt and exposed to us his massive girth. Roosevelt did the same. After they looked at each other, the Bishop and Roosevelt told me to study alone for two hours while they would discuss the scriptures just between two black men.

When they came back to the room, we talked some more about how important it is for the man to be the head of the household.
"When you tell your wife to make cheesey grits for you, you don't just ask," the Bishop said. "YOU TELL HER TO MAKE YOU CHEESEY GRITS!"
"Wow, that was powerful, Bishop," I replied.
"You can call me Daddy," the Bishop said, as he reached over to my tool belt and grabbed one of my plumber's wrenches.
"You see this here wrench," the Bishop said. "This represents the monument to the man!"
"I use that there wrench for everything," I said.
"I can tell, Bill. Now, why don't you come over here and show me how well you use that wrench," the Bishop said.
At this point, I have to cut the story off, but the main thing here is that the liberal media is unnecessarily going after the Honorable Bishop Eddie Long-a man of virtue, integrity, honor and most of all, God. You see that there picture up there with my president? It shows you that with the new Republican Congress ready to take control and Bishop Eddie Long winning his lawsuits, that the United States of America will once-again be a clean, honorable, Christ-centered nation.

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