Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Thoughts on the year and jihadists

How can I agree with all of the misguided, secular progressive fools that 2009 was a disaster? The answer is that we agree on this for different reasons. Liberals say that 2009 was a disaster because of the effects of the Bush years. I say it was a disaster because "Mr." Barack Hussein Nobama was installed into power and immediately wrecked this nation from the moment he screwed up the Oath at his party (oh, inauguration-excuse me). From that very moment on, this once-free nation started on a path to debauchery, Secularism, Socialism, Taxism, Environmentalism, Anti-Business-ism. Nobama coddled dictators Chavez, Castro, Ahamdinejad and Gadaffi. He traveled too much to places where we shouldn't be sending our president including Godless Norway where he took that silly prize that he should never have earned. The jihadists were empowered by Hussein's waving of the white flag in Iraq and then foolishly putting in more troops in Afghanistan where there is no reason to be there because there's no oil to get at. God knows that we need oil to make our cars run and keep the dang lights on! Secular Progressive September 10th McFlys don't get it. They think that windmills will replace patriotic oil. Guess what, you morons: it doesn't work that way! Lil Hussein is dangerous to America. He commits treason with every breath he takes -- just for being him. He hates America. He hates God. He hates life. In short, he's not leading a Christ-centered existence whereby life is respected. Instead he wishes to give more money to Godless scientists who wish to clone more Secular Progressive mean-spirited folk who wish to give up and let the jihadists invade. This is what happened with that airplane in Michigan. Yes, this is Nobama's fault. I told y'all so! I told you that jihadists are coming here and look at what happened. Nobama failed to protect us, so the passengers had to do Nobama's job. God bless the passengers who jumped that evildoer -- even if those passengers might be liberal. If they are, well then, I'll just have to take back that last line. I wrote it here all along that Nobama is weak. He took over and never got the right people to lead those once-patriotic arms of government that actually worked under the Honorable President George W. Bush -- who stared down the thugs during his eight very successful years. Remember President GW Bush kept us safe. Guess what folks: we are not safe under this installed president who might be a plant from Kenya. Is anyone besides the gorgeous Mrs. Cheney listening to me?

In 2010, I promise to step up my hard work here. I'm on a crusade to take this country back to its religious conservative roots. I'm praying that patriots will dismantle this joke of a health care bill with all of its unfunded mandates, death panels and high, high taxes. I'm praying for Crap and Trade to fade. I'm praying that there will be a bloodbath in our nation's Capitol whereby Wiccan Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Brain-Damaged Senator Reid board helicopters headed to Gitmo where they will face military tribunals for their anti-American, treasonous activities topped off with embarrassing us to the world through their weak actions. I'm praying that either Governor Palin or the Honorable Mr. Huckabee or Mr. Cheney are quickly elected into power to lead our nation to conservative greatness once again.

Dear readers, in my humble opinion, there is no President Obama. We are on a broken auto-pilot program out of Secular Liberal Washington, D.C. whereby Socialism is being implemented with each second. There is hope. The great Southern states are thinking about blocking Obamacare and if Nobama gets even more restrictive, then God-willing, these great states will break away and form a conservative successful country of its own.

God Bless,
Bill Orvis White

Thursday, December 24, 2009

'Twas the night before Christ-mas by Bill Orvis White

'Twas the night before Christ-mas
By Bill Orvis White

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Congress
The crooks were stirring, forcing evil on the land.
Wiccan Pelosi and Brain-damaged Reid, hung by the podium,
Twisting arms and forcing votes.

Our children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While the witch and the retard were hatching their plan.
And Pelosi on her broomstick, and Reid in his dunce cap,
Hoping we wouldn’t notice what they did during our nap.

When out on the Capitol lawn there arose such a clatter,
Patriots sprang from the beds to see what was the matter.
Tea baggers and the faithful flocked to that lawn
To protest this evil from dusk until dawn.

The patriots on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave a new fight to say no, no, no!
When, what to the tea baggers’ wondering eyes should appear,
Dick Cheney on eight tinny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
We cheered LOUDLY at the sight of “St. Dick.”
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Patriots! now, Tea Baggers! now, Country first, let’s take it back!
Oh, Condy! Oh Donald! Oh Georgy!
Through the front doors, they would attack!


As dry leaves that Pelosi’s broom,
When they were met with an obstacle of Democrats mounted to the room.
So up to the Capitol the patriots they flew,
With the sleigh full of free market incentives, and St Dick-o-less too.

And then, in a twinkling, the patriots heard on the dome
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As the tea baggers drew in their heads, and were turning around,
Down the Capitol’s chimney St Dick came with a bound.

He was dressed all in leisure suit, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with Halliburton soot.
A bundle of patriots he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they delighted! his shit-eating smirk, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His crooked mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the drool of his chin was as white as the snow.

The patriotic tobacco he held tight in his teeth,
And the stench it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a fat face and big ass belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I cried when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know Wiccan Pelosi’s career is dead.

He spoke many words, as he took to the stage,
Filled with documents, yes, page after page.
And laying his finger on each note,
I knew that we were all going to be in a conservative boat.

St Dick said, “Sorry I had to barge,”
But there’s a new sheriff here,
I’m in charge!

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My pledge to fight

I will fight. I will fight to keep my way of life. I will fight.

I promise from here on out that I am dedicated to the cause of freedom. Freedom for All! Freedom from the chains that shackle us from Washington. I will fight. From from the tyranny of taxism, secularism, Obamanism, Communism, Socialism and other "isms" that threaten my way of life.

If this means that I must guard the borders of my state, I will fight. If this means that I must protect my property, I will fight. If this means that I must protect my family, I will fight.

You Secular Progressives out there are rejoicing in the celebration of a Socialist victory, but you do not understand the problems that you're forcing upon this once-free land. We will all have to pay for your laziness, shiftlessness, apathy through much higher taxes. It's a fact! Don't believe what this installed-president and disgusting Democratic Congress are telling you. Y'all will learn fast how bad this health care system will be. Yes, Santy Claus, the Soviet Union has come to us and it don't look pretty!

Yes, you September 10th SP McFlys: I VOW TO FIGHT your Socialist agenda.

I will fight to save this once-free country. I will fight for Sean Hannity to keep his SUV. I will fight for the Ten Commandments to be displayed everywhere to preserve our conservative culture which is under attack. I will fight for Rush to keep his drug cache. I will fight for a culture of life. I will fight for good Hebrew Dick Morris to have proper fitting underwear so that he will continue to write his amazing opinions. I will fight for a strong defense that needs to regroup and fight al-Qaeda in Iraq. I will fight for the honorable Richard Cheney, Sarah Palin, Donald Rumsfeld, Michael Huckabee and other patriots to safely return to the top brass of our government and military.

A note to Democrats, Secularists, Humanists and others: You will lose. You will lose bad in 2010. The Real USA is a conservative country and that will be evident in 2010. You will hear from us loud and clear. We will shout it from the rooftops, churches, synagogues and Hardee's dining rooms.

Speaking of Hardee's I saw Sweet Baby Jesus on my Thickburger the other day. I cried so hard, the manager came over and gave me a huge Christmas hug. God, I love the Real America.

I will fight.

God Bless and Merry Christmas

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Report Card



A few months back, I wrote about how Hussein Nobama should have received an "F" for his miserable performance. Bill White was right. Look at what's going on now. I don't need to repeat it. Do I have any advice for this installed-president? Yes. "What?" you ask. Yes: "RESIGN!" Heck, that Socialist loser Al Gore screamed at a church a number of years back that President GW Bush's folks ought to resign, so why can't I call for the resignation of the worst "administration" in this country's history? Voters were bamboozled into this mess and they gave them a chance. They gave them enough time and now the honorable thing to do is resign and call for special elections. Y'all are probably saying that's unconstitutional, Bill. I disagree. If you read between the lines in that great document, you can easily see where it says that if a Secular Progressive president gets installed into power, then the Supreme Court has the option to remove him and call for a special election whereby an honorable Christ-centered man will win the election. See, it's in there and don't disagree with me. If you disagree, then you don't care about this country's future -- tantamount to treason. Yes, I use the word tantamount and my buddy Roger makes fun of me. Roger, listen to me, we're in trouble and we need to remove this president. He's dangerous. He goes around the world committing treason by apologizing to countries like Norway, Denmark, France, Chavez's Venezuela, Castro's Cuba, Ahmadinejad's Iran, Kim's North Korea and much more. When will we wake up and stop this nonsense?

Now, this conceded installed-president gives himself a B-plus. What? That's arrogant, pure and simple -- enough reason to remove him. Before Nobama, taxes were low, a culture of life prevailed, there was a strong military and Toby Keith was invited to the White House.

Please join me in my crusade to save this once-great country.

Merry Christmas, God Bless and Amen,
Bill

Monday, December 7, 2009

Enviro-Nutjobs

Socialist Denmark is holding some kind of meeting - talking about how the planet is in trouble and that the evidence of global warming is everywhere. As my mama used to say with her Confederate silver ladle that would smack down on her butcher block, "BALDERDASH, BOY!!!!!" I wish my mama were around today to whip these pansy Socialist Danes with their fancy suits, shoes and tiny stupid-looking glasses. I'm sorry my friends, but these Socialists are dangerous to our quality of life. Oh, they think that our quality of life is horrible with chemicals and pollution all around us. Let me tell you something, we're doing fine with our chemicals and pollution thank you very much. I know plenty of people in the good ole US of A who are doing just fine at 98-years-old after smoking on patriotic tobacco while working with fertilizer, pesticides and propane. I've got plenty of evidence right here in my hometown and throughout this beautiful "polluted land." Get over yourselves you stupid secular, Godless nutcases!

Here's what's even worse. We now have an installed Kenyan president who is selling out our economy to these morons by saying that we need to put a limit on how much pollution we spew from our smokestacks. Well, "sir" "Mr." Hussein Nobama, guess what? It costs millions and billions to do all of that. That means if I were a patriotic coal mine or factory owner, I'd have to tell a bunch of my men to go home. Sorry boys, but some Kenyan is making me pay to stop my pollution. I have no money for you. Y'all will have to go home and tell your bride that you can't work no longer. So, here' your last check and y'all can try to live off the land because "Mr." Hussein Nobama's got no money left for you either because his Socialist government went broke.

Gentlemen, there is no global warming. Do y'all remember this thing called global cooling? I kind of remember that - back when I was on the drink. I thought that would be OK since the cold weather would keep my whiskey a bit chillier - which I liked back then. Guess what, you dumb Secular Progressive Socialists in Denmark: Global Cooling didn't happen and now this warming thing is not happening either. Those videos that y'all show with melting ice caps are totally doctored, just like Hussein Nobama's birth certificate. Y'all are exaggerating this thing and for that, you should be tried in a military tribunal. Yes, that's right, military, because this meeting y'all are having is going to cost us jobs not only in the private sector, but the military as well. We won't be able to do testing and the such in our oceans because we might hurt those sea otters. So, we're going to wave the white flag of surrender for a bunch of sea otters? You Danish folk are insane! I don't think you're even from this planet.

I'm sitting here in my shed staring at my KISS "Love Gun" record wondering what that good Hebrew boy Gene Simmons would do. I just wish he would storm into that Denmark meeting, holding his tongue out and tell these pansies that they need to get real jobs like cleaning out sewers or become a righteous Christ-centered Republican in the U.S. Congress.

Anyway, folks, what's going on here? My country has been taken away from me. I'm worn out and on days like this, I don't have much fight. Maybe I'll more energy tomorrow to protest this thing with my tea bags.

Merry Christmas,
Bill Orvis White

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

THE WORLD NEEDS SERIOUS DICK



OK, you pornography lovers, stop laughing at my title. Take your filthy minds into church, find God and put it in a clean place instead of the secular progressive gutter that you leave it in. Just remember, Ted Bundy acted the way he did because he was on the drug, drink and of course, pornography.

Now, the world does need more Dick. Why? Because he's right. He's right that our installed so-called "president" is only going into Afghanistan for political reasons. Dick's right! If Dick, the Honorable Governor Huckabee or Sarah went into Afghanistan, then it would be a patriotic act that would deter jihadists from coming to our shores. But, guess what you dumb Secular Progressive September 10th McFlys? The war isn't in Afghanistan. It's in Iraq. Get a map, you idiots! Al Qaeda has always operated out of Iraq under that filthy pig Hussein. Iraq attacked us for our freedom, success and David Hasselhoff.

And noticed how long it took Hussein Nobama to decide to add more troops into an innocent country like Afghanistan? MONTHS! AND MONTHS! "Mr." Hussein Nobama is not man enough to make decisions and for that, he needs to be removed and replaced with a big Dick, Governor Huckabee or Sarah immediately! Is anyone out there reading and agreeing with my words? We're about to have our troops sent into a territory that had nothing to do with September 11th. It's also a territory that doesn't have much value. We need to stick to our guns in Iraq where there is oil for my 150. If we were smart, we would find the money to go into Iran to bomb their nuke facilities. Then, we could control the oil supply because the world runs on oil, not stupid pansy-ass windmills. Jesus is crying at us now because he knows that we're waving the white flag of surrender. We're surrending our freedoms and that's a travesty.

Dick knows that if he were president, he would make a decision and stick with it. No delaying. No waffling. No wishy-washy long, drawn out speeches. Dick would be Dick and those are my thoughts and I will stick with them for eternity.