Sunday, August 30, 2009

I love Rush

I love Rush. There I wrote it. Now I'm staring at it. Now I'm wondering why I love Rush Limbaugh so much. I have the answer. I almost never miss his show and I archive just about every thing he's ever done right here in my shed. I subscribe to the Limbaugh Letter and his amazing Web site. The man inspires me. The man educates me. I just realized that I've been ditto-ing since around 1991. I stumbled on this incredible man while on a call to Mrs. Lowenstein's house which was getting flooded by her washer. Mrs. Lowenstein was this nice older Hebrew lady who was at home most of the day wearing either spandex for her aerobics classes or in her tennis outfit ready to play some round robin with the other rich Hebrew ladies. I so respected her. I so loved going over there for calls and wished like crazy she would have more leaky pipes. Unfortunately, my personal pipes were leaky if you know what I mean. Wow, there goes my lust in the pants. Anyway, switched over to the AM station in town and heard Rush. I was blown away. I kept hitting the brakes saying, "Dang, I agree with this!" and, "Dang, I so agree with this!" I hook ever since. If Rush was pushing Snapple, I bought some Snapple. If Rush was smoking a cigar, I would go out and smoke a cigar. If Rush bought some Juicefuls candies, there I was at the local Quickie Mart buying Juicefuls from Rajiv, this hard-working legal Indian man who I still love and talk about Christ with to this day.
Anyway, I sit here in my shed knowing that Rush Limbaugh, thrice-divorced is devoted to the things that make America great: fiscal conservatism, a Christ-centered life and finding painkillers by any means necessary. Heck, I had to do that when my knees first started acting up. Me and Rush knew that doctor shopping was wrong, but we came clean and admitted and asked for Christ's forgiveness. I think in Rush's case, he asked for Dick Cheney's forgiveness, but that's OK! If Rush chooses to have Dick Cheney as his God, then so be it. At least he believes in a higher being, you McFly September 10th Secular Progressives!
So, Rush says that the MSM (mainstream media) are drooling over this Senator Kennedy being gone and all. I agree! It was totally sickening to watch this coverage on my television. Let's face it, Teddy was someone who couldn't control the lust in his pants and was against free markets. We didn't honor Bill Buckley like this or even Ronald Reagan. All I remember of the Reagan funeral was that light in the loafers son trying to get Nancy to stop sobbing so much. This Kennedy thing was way out of control because you know why: the MSM wants a big gov't takeover of health care! Rush is right about this! He says that the Democrats are using Teddy's death to push the biggest Socialistic takeover of our nation, ever!
So I ask, will the MSM honor Senator Hatch like this? Doubtful! No, they foam at the mouth when that racist Senator Byrd assumes room temperature, which he kind of has already, but still, Byrd's a Democrat and the MSM will be in mourning over him. They won't care when patriotic Mitch McConnell leaves this great earth.
I love Rush and I want to shout it from the mountaintops! In Rush's case, he can shout it from his sauna where his belly hangs loose and his cigar brilliantly burns.


American English said...

I am going to have to say that I have mixed reviews. I think that he puts his foot in his mouth too many times. Another one is Glenn Beck. Don't get me started on that guy. Check out my blog at

Media Spin said...

Hey Bill!
Since you're now a Dittohead, please stop by:
for some of the stories about Rush that you may have missed!

This is Scott said...

You sir, are a comic genius.