Sunday, August 30, 2009

I love Rush



I love Rush. There I wrote it. Now I'm staring at it. Now I'm wondering why I love Rush Limbaugh so much. I have the answer. I almost never miss his show and I archive just about every thing he's ever done right here in my shed. I subscribe to the Limbaugh Letter and his amazing Web site. The man inspires me. The man educates me. I just realized that I've been ditto-ing since around 1991. I stumbled on this incredible man while on a call to Mrs. Lowenstein's house which was getting flooded by her washer. Mrs. Lowenstein was this nice older Hebrew lady who was at home most of the day wearing either spandex for her aerobics classes or in her tennis outfit ready to play some round robin with the other rich Hebrew ladies. I so respected her. I so loved going over there for calls and wished like crazy she would have more leaky pipes. Unfortunately, my personal pipes were leaky if you know what I mean. Wow, there goes my lust in the pants. Anyway, switched over to the AM station in town and heard Rush. I was blown away. I kept hitting the brakes saying, "Dang, I agree with this!" and, "Dang, I so agree with this!" I hook ever since. If Rush was pushing Snapple, I bought some Snapple. If Rush was smoking a cigar, I would go out and smoke a cigar. If Rush bought some Juicefuls candies, there I was at the local Quickie Mart buying Juicefuls from Rajiv, this hard-working legal Indian man who I still love and talk about Christ with to this day.
Anyway, I sit here in my shed knowing that Rush Limbaugh, thrice-divorced is devoted to the things that make America great: fiscal conservatism, a Christ-centered life and finding painkillers by any means necessary. Heck, I had to do that when my knees first started acting up. Me and Rush knew that doctor shopping was wrong, but we came clean and admitted and asked for Christ's forgiveness. I think in Rush's case, he asked for Dick Cheney's forgiveness, but that's OK! If Rush chooses to have Dick Cheney as his God, then so be it. At least he believes in a higher being, you McFly September 10th Secular Progressives!
So, Rush says that the MSM (mainstream media) are drooling over this Senator Kennedy being gone and all. I agree! It was totally sickening to watch this coverage on my television. Let's face it, Teddy was someone who couldn't control the lust in his pants and was against free markets. We didn't honor Bill Buckley like this or even Ronald Reagan. All I remember of the Reagan funeral was that light in the loafers son trying to get Nancy to stop sobbing so much. This Kennedy thing was way out of control because you know why: the MSM wants a big gov't takeover of health care! Rush is right about this! He says that the Democrats are using Teddy's death to push the biggest Socialistic takeover of our nation, ever!
So I ask, will the MSM honor Senator Hatch like this? Doubtful! No, they foam at the mouth when that racist Senator Byrd assumes room temperature, which he kind of has already, but still, Byrd's a Democrat and the MSM will be in mourning over him. They won't care when patriotic Mitch McConnell leaves this great earth.
I love Rush and I want to shout it from the mountaintops! In Rush's case, he can shout it from his sauna where his belly hangs loose and his cigar brilliantly burns.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Ole Liberal Lion



While the media sits around drooling and crying over the passing of Senator Kennedy, I must say my part here. This passing is symbolic in that it shows how one of the biggest supports of Barack Hussein Nobama is going so fast downhill. Kennedy's death is also the death of Big Government.

Only eight months in with this installed-president and look at what he created: recession, job loss, high deficits, higher taxes on everyone, an unsecure homeland, weakened military in Iraq and an even "not ready for duty, sir" military in Afghanistan, coddling dictators, equal rights for the gays, the death of traditional marriage, abortion on demand, God and Sweet Baby Jesus kicked even more out of the schools, a ridiculous energy policy and that's just the beginning.

This pop star president whose star is fading, hasn't even filled a bunch of jobs and then he goes on vacation. That's the icing on the cake. The jihadists are laughing at us as they plan their next attack and I'm afraid it's going to be a mushroom cloud. This will only be Lil Hussein's fault! I know that fat lazy film director Moore will come out and say that it was GW's fault, but that moron couldn't be more wrong.

So back to Teddy Kennedy. Dear Media, stop idolizing him just like Lil Hussein! Ted Kennedy had questionable character and only wanted a big, shiftless government that would only bankrupt the nation. I'm not thankful he's dead and I'll tell you why. He was great to have around so that we can all remember what the failed policies of the Great Society were all about. So, I'm sad on that account. RIP you Ole Liberal Lion.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Tom Ridge: Another Evildoer



Tom Ridge will be damned to hell for this drivel. GW Bush will be described as a hero 50 years from now after men like Mike Huckabee stare down the evildoers and exterminate them from the planet. How dare this Ridge Monster write about gifted men like Donald Rumsfeld, John Ashcroft, Richard Cheney and Condy Rice in such a vile, disgusting and false manner!

God and Sweet Baby Jesus will send him down to the dungeons of the most fiery part of Hell where he will suffer for eternity! Thomas Ridge: say hello to Hitler, Ted Bundy, Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein. You disgust me you evil human being.

There is no evidence that the honorable Bush team raised the very important terror threat level - none whatsoever! Ridge is making all of this stuff up so that he can sell books. This man doesn't know that he's helping the Hussein Nobamas wave the white flag of surrender thus compromising our national security.

This idiot joins the McFlys of the world including Michael Moore, Al Franken, Noam Chomsky, Gloria Steinem and countless other far lefties who have no problem destroying the fabric of our nation through forced health care, wrongheaded Obamanomics, reduced military spending, kicking God out of the schools and the gay curriculum in government-run schools.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Bowing to dictators



Why are we celebrating this Bill Clinton to North Korea thing? The ultra-Commie dictator Dear Leader summoned Bubba to come on over for a visit so that he can be used as a puppet to release those girls who work for the far, far, far, far left TV channel run by Algore. Gimme a break. A President Huckabee would have invaded to get those girls out even if they were Commie sympathizers who don't believe in free economic principles. Now that would be classy of a President Huckabee.

Now the MSM is all over this like Bubba's this big hero. I hope FOX and Rush tell the other side of the story. I'm sick to my stomach how they're gushing over this staged event. Everyone knows that Bubba and the Dear Leader are best friends who believe to taking away individual choice and freedom. Bubba wrecked the economy almost as bad as Lil Hussein is doing right now.

Now, onto Obamacare. It's failing big time, thank the Lord Almighty. I'm beyond thrilled to see these patriots confront these phony lawmakers at the town hall meetings. I love every single one of them. As everyone knows, I say, "Take care of yourself!" Don't tread on me to pay way higher taxes for your health care scheme and so-called "green jobs." You're killing us, Lil Hussein!

Next year will be a bloodbath for Lil Hussein as he is already a lame duck leader. He will lose Congress so bad, I can already see the headlines on FOX News. There is no hope for this administration that hasn't accomplished anything and will not accomplish anything in their remaining days. I hope more conservatives are with me here. I'm so optimistic for 2010 and 2012. We will win.