Monday, June 29, 2009

The folly of Cap and Trade

I've just been looking at stuff online about Cap and Trade. I heard that this ultra-liberal enviro-whacko stunt will kill our already Obamanomics-damaged economy even more. After going to a message board about this joke of a bill, I just learned that a lot of our congressmen have no idea what's in this clunker of a law! This whole thing could cost trillions of our hard-earned tax dollars to battle something that a bunch of tree-hugging, pro-Socialist, unemployed, state-sucking nutcases made up in their Commie red minds! This is a travesty on the largest of proportions and people like me, Joe the Plumber and Rep. Boehner are not going to take it anymore.
Here are the facts:
We need more energy to power up the things that make this country and her friends move around 24/7. Good ole clean coal, patriotic nuke plants, ultra-patriotic oil wells and Senator Carl Levin's Brylcreem can power up this great nation for the next 500 years. So y'all far left libs need to get over it. This Cap and Trade idea should be enough to get this installed-president impeached and removed soon.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

He spoke from his heart

OK, everyone's upset about Gov. Sanford. I'm not. He had lust in his pants. Even born again men like me get this, but sometimes we can't control it. So, Gov. Sanford fell off the tracks for the past eight years.

Now you lefties are out there saying that he's a hypocrite. Hypocrite is a word that the far left media created when they chased Rush around doctor shopping for his hurt back. But, y'all are out there saying here's a guy who didn't take the stimulus money and then he took state money to drive to Atlanta to fly out to talk with his Christian Latina lover in Argentina. First of all, it's right to use state money to do what it takes to repair your broken marriage. Governor Sanford went all the way down there to tell his beautiful mistress that she needs to find God again and be with her family. They agreed to it and he flew back to America -- after they made passionate hot Latino love for two days for the last time. OK, so the governor came back home to tell the world what happened. At least he came clean! At least he didn't say, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman...."

Governor Sanford, if you're reading this, I'm with you. God is with you. Baby Jesus is with you. I know the good people of South Carolina are with you. Don't resign. Stay the course. Don't accept money that's not your's unless you need to do something that's patriotic or protects the USA.

Now, Mrs. Sanford, your honorable husband loves you and the boys. You're both good Christians who will be together forever. I know you'll make it through this mess even if the far left wing media keeps coming after you. Here's my message to the far left mainstream media: Leave the Sanfords alone! Keep your grubby paws off of Mrs. Sanford, Oprah!

A lot of you lefties are out there saying, "Oh, this is so like these conservatives!" Wrong! This is a problem for the far left like Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer! This list goes on and on! Patriots like Governor Sanford, Senator Ensign, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Ronald Reagan, Rush and Sean -- WHOOPS! OK, I admit that I had a brief fling with Sean's wife back in the day, but at least I'm coming clean. We had lust in our pants at a conservative gathering, but we found God and we're good. You see, we're all not perfect, so good patriotic conservatives like us are excused when we fall off the tracks. When liberals play hanky panky with cigars in the Oval Office, we need to spend millions to investigate that -- because people like that enjoy less freedom, high taxes, abortion, secularism, drug use and so much more.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

It drove him out of his cotton-pickin' mind

Everyone's picking on the South Carolina governor for walking into the wilderness. I can't say that I blame him. Sometimes I'm driven crazy for doing the right thing. You see, the honorable Mr. Sanford stood up to the far, far, huge left-wing federal government that told him to take money that wasn't his. Mr. Sanford said, "No thank you sir" and what did he get in return? Ridicule. Condemnation. Shame. All coming from the far left mainstream media that has been promoting this so-called president's Robinhood Agenda.

What's a good man to do when he's faced with something so large like this? What's he to do? I think it was in Job when it was said, "Thy deny stimulus money. It's not your money. It belongs to hard-working, Christian conservatives." I live that every day when I'm out on any plumbing call. It's their money until I charge them for a leaky faucet. That's when God has given me the blessing to charge thy client for my hard work.

So, to all you left-wing media members: Stop picking on Patriotic Governor Sanford. He just needed to clear his head from the trauma you put him through. It looks like he's returning to Columbia for y'all to kick around again. Y'all just amaze me.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Date night

I did a 4 a.m. plumbing call and my way, I was thinking about Hussein Obama's date night. Here I am working on an early call, expanding the economy and then they take my hard-earned tax dollars to whoop it up in Godless New York. We have no control over this! Yeah, they can say that it's a small part of the budget, but this date night thing is just the start of all the wasteful spending and taxing starting with this president and his far left Congress. That's why right-thinkers like me and you need to hold these people accountable. Yes, God will judge them, but we need to step up to the plate and fire them.
Give every elected person a test on their commitment to low taxes, culture of life and their love/devotion to Jesus, God, oil and Glenn Beck.
I'm afraid most elected folks would flunk this test. That's why we need to be out there whether it's at a Tea Bag rally or in your Congressman's office. Do it and stop this insane date night thing.
Look what's happening folks. This judge that they're trying to put on the big court in the nation's capital is a disgrace. Rush says that she's a racist. I believe him and that thought scares me. I pray that some of those senators stand up and say, "You're a racist, because Rush says so!" I'll tell y'all, my folks stood up to racism and that's tough to do down here in the South. You heard that right. I grew up with black and brown folk who studied the Bible with me. It was only when I got on the drink that I lost some of those friends -- not because I didn't like them no more, but they looked at my hard-drinking ways and wanted no part of it. They were always better than me! Yep, I'm embarrassed by a lot of God-fearing folk who have a problem with color. I stand up to those racists. Now, Rush says this lady who wants to be on the big court is a racist. I can't believe this. I already had my doubts about her, but now, I'm even more shocked. Even Newt agrees with Rush and I love everything about Newt now more than ever because he has an even greater relationship with God.