Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Teabaggery, patriotic torture and my hero, Mr. Cheney

The following are a collection of serious thoughts that I have been including on some other lefty blogs including my Godless fellow blogger Chez. Since he's been kind enough to link me, I'll return the favor right here: Chez's anti-American/pro-Secular Europe/pro-weak US Defense blog -- just to show all of my fellow conservative bloggers just what these good-meaning, yet clueless leftists are up to these days.

Our forefathers never meant for gov't to expand the way it has. So here we are with Obamanomics exploding our deficit to historic levels and we defiant Teabaggers are here to say no more handouts!
I suppose you liberals don't understand how your taxes are calculated. Well, I calculate my own and my fed taxes are too dang high! If I could keep my money, I could buy Delores the velvet lifesize Elvis portrait that she's been wanting for 30 years. I could hire that special boy Darren (who takes pictures of everything and I mean everything) down the street to sweep my shed out. You see, if I get to keep more of my money, I will buy more and create jobs. With a little money left over, I can put the funds into the church donation box. But, since Mr. Obama wishes to confiscate my money and send it up the river to liberals and illegals who don't deserve it, well then, I can't help the economy grow. As I repeat like a broken Toby Keith CD, this president's economy is a failure and it needs to be stopped.
We need to eliminate taxes and you will see jobs popping up like dandelions that are growing around my 150 that I wrecked and is up on blocks.
Happy days will be here again when every man can provide for his lady. Soldiers can go back to practicing enhanced interrogation techniques. Marriage between a man and a woman will be protected. And good clean TV like Hee Haw will be #1!!!!! You see, we teabaggers have always been right. We're holding our heads up high to annoy all of you Godless Libs. We are the majority and the mainstream: hard-working conservative and God-fearing folk who want government out of our lives-except for our churches, schools and bedrooms. Rush and Mr. Cheney said not to compromise and I won't! Rush never compromised when he ran out of patriotic Oxycontin. Richard Cheney never compromised with that Socialist Sen. Leahy when he got in that old Pinko's face and said, "Go *uck yourself!" That stands as one of the US's best moments in history--right after Mr. Reagan telling Mr. Gorbachev to tear that wall down.Richard Cheney is golden.

After seeing Mr. Cheney swatting that clueless Bob Schieffer's questions on liberal CBS this weekend, I'm more convinced that Jesus and God know that the Bush administration did the right thing by instituting coercive techniques and opening up Gitmo.
So go ahead and sling words at me, Mr. Cheney and everyone else who helped to keep you safe for almost eight years. You know that there is right and wrong in life. The Islamists who want to destroy us are wrong and must be dealt with accordingly. God and Baby Jesus will judge us when we meet them. I know that they will understand and reward Richard Cheney. I know, you're gasping right now. Do you something? Richard Cheney loves his country and he fears for it because Secular Progressives like you and our installed-president are weak on everything and defense is at the top of the list.
I just heard Rush and he read my formerly alcohol-soaked brain. He said that Mr. Cheney doesn't have an agenda. He can go out and golf and hunt if he so wishes. But he decided to go on a crusade through the far left media to warn them that what this so-called adminstration is doing is flat-out dangerous!
When will you wake up and realize that history will prove that the Bush Doctrine was the right course of action? I'm warning y'all right now that cancelling these much-needed programs like waterboarding and Gitmo will provoke an attack on our soil that even I cannot imagine. Pulling out of Iraq when the Surge was becoming successful will provoke another attack that we will not be able to rise up from. That's why it's essential to stock up and be ready with canned goods, weapons, duct tape and photos of Sean Hannity in your deep underground bunker. Oh yeah, did I mention the full Rush Limbaugh audio/video/text library is also essential in the bunker?

Hello McFlys, they all want to kill us for our freedom, SUVs and Dennis Miller!
If Jesus were alive today, I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with enhanced interrogative techniques if it means it all saves millions or even billions of good, innocent lives even if many of those lives wish to have a massive nanny state.
We need to return to a Christ-centered world whereby we worship human life.
God Bless all of you SPs out there.
-Bill Orvis White

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