Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Why Bill O'Reilly Still Matters

I came across a great interview with FOX News' Bill O'Reilly on Yahoo and it just reminded me of why I love Bill O'Reilly so much. So many folks like me watch him because he speaks the truth and fights for the values of the average tax-paying guy like me. No one's hardly watching any of the other channels because they mock us for who we are. People like Bill White represent the mainstream of America. We believe in a small government where it's just about a strong military and nothing else! We believe in strong churches where we teach respect through the Lord Almighty! So as mainstream newspapers fall like dominoes and people like Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity are out there, I guess that there's hope for a better tomorrow. Do I hope that this president fails? Yes! Because we sometimes have to taste the bitterness of far, far liberal policies in order to understand that small government with no taxes is the answer.

I'm sorry folks, but here we go again with people like Hillary Clinton apologizing for America to Secular Europe. This War on Terror is meant to last at least 50 years. That woman scares me. She extremely dangerous by going on overseas soil to tell those Godless humans that we have been wrong! When will we wake up and realize that Islamo-fascists are coming to get us? We need to be ready. Instead, we have a leader going over there to tell them that we're willing to give up our own soil for them to come over and turn this into a Godless Socialistic nation! Where's the outrage?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Birds 'n bees

I loved raising my boys Dale and Kyle, but I confess the worst time was when my wife Delores made me have "that talk" with them. One night many years ago when Dale was 13 and Kyle was 11, I set them down and said, "Boys, you know you have a sausage between yer legs."
"Can I eat it, Daddy?" Kyle queried. "Like that Jimmy Dean does?"
"Nah, not the same kinda sausage, boy. It's like a sausage." I told 'em.
"Why does my sausage squirt funny milk instead of wee-wee, Daddy?" Dale asked.
"Oh boy, this is gonna be tough," I tole 'em.
"Well, I'll get to that later, big boy. For now, I just tell you that you have a sausage and yer mama don't," I said.
"Really? Then what she got?" Kyle asked.
"She got a straight ole carpet where I put my sausage to rest and I tell ya, it make Daddy feel good," I confessed.
"Eww, Daddy that's gross!" Kyle screamed.
"Well, when you find a mama to marry, you'll like it. Trust me," I promised.
"You both know that your sausage grows," I said. "And when your sausage grows a lot and you rub it, then that's why that funny milk comes out, Dale. Just try not to do it.That funny milk has seeds that you can't see in it. Those seeds get planted in yer mama's carpet which then make babies. I hope you both make lots of boys that I can learn them to shoot deer just like you both like to do now."
"But Daddy, I like to rub my sausage. It feels gooood," Dale confessed.
"Well,it's against God and that's all!" I yelled with tears streaming.
"So, now boys, that sausage means that you're a man and you're in charge," I said. "So when you have your own mama, you make her stay at home, make you feel good, clean yer clothes and cook your meals. If you're lucky, yer mama will teach your boys at home. Well, that's it boys.That's our birds 'n bees talk."
You see, we don't need government teaching sex in schools. I did it years ago and my boys are still livin' with me. Kyle spends hours in his room with his buddy Fred making loud grunting noises. Dale spends a lot time in his room alone drilling holes and fills them with whipped cream. They turned out great.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Why there will be a President Huckabee in March '10

I was sitting down after eating Delores' cherry pie when the president came on my TV last night. I confess that this is probably the beginning of the end. He looked nervous trying to answer questions from those secular progressive reporters who seemed to be doing their jobs for the moment. I'm sure they'll go back to idolizing him very soon.

By this time next year, I know the country will make the right choice by telling the president to resign leading the way for Mike Huckabee to take his place. Everyone knows that this big government agenda is not working and before it gets even more out of control, we must stop him. If I had to give a grade out, it would have to be an F-. Dale got a few of those in school which I didn't really care about because I knew that he was going to fail anyway. So, I told Dale, "Look, you're no good at this English thing. No big deal. Just find a trade and stick with it." So, he found out that he's good at welding. Dale got straight A's in that and now look at him. Dale goes around town welding signs. You see, God and Baby Jesus assign you certain things in life. They knew that George W. Bush was destined to be the best president ever. This president we have now operated against nature. Barack Hussein Obama was chosen to help his folk out back home in that big ole city of Chicago. But, a bunch of secular progressives in the big corrupt political machine up there saw to it to go against nature and find a way to make the president. Somehow a bunch of people voted who were either illegal or illegitimate voted this guy into office. I'll say it again: Why didn't they investigate Virginia and North Carolina? It's just plain wrong. You know something: I will be right just like Rush, Ann, Sean, Bill, Laura, Dennis, Michael and all the rest who go out there as good Christian/Hebrew soldiers fighting for the right values.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Dom. Lib. Media Culture

After seeing that the president showed up on the Jay Leno show, I had to write a few thoughts here. This is total evidence of the Dominant Liberal Media Culture. Rush always talked about this and he is so on the money. Everyone is falling all over this and gloating today (March 20, 2009). It just makes me sick. Would GW, Cheney, Rev. Warren, Ann Coulter, Toby Keith or Rush himself get this star softball treatment? The answer is of course, NO! God-fearing, Christ-centered folks like me -- and there are millions -- feel alienated because the liberal media worlds in New York and Los Angeles make fun of the values that we hold dear. All you have to do is read the papers or watch that Couric lady on TV and you'll see that they cheerlead for more gun control and big government. So when I see blatant liberal bias like I did on the Jay Leno program, I feel sick to my stomach. Yes, Leno had McCain and gorgeous Sara on, but this is the president of the free world. Yeah, Leno acted like he was speaking for us, but that was a set-up to get people on Obama's side so that he will pass his big government agenda down our throats to take away our guns and sign us all up for a Soviet-style health care system. I'm not waiting in an emergency room for three days after I shoot my foot off from trying to find dinner. No way, Mr. President! Where's the outrage over this! Can't anyone see that Obama is swinging through liberal California to sell higher taxes to the country? What has this world come to?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Culture of life

How about someone who fights for a culture of life?

I say it every single day: "What's happening to this country?" I don't want to say it every single day, but I have to these days. You see, we went from being a country that celebrates life to one that celebrates death. My hero GW Bush said no using human eggs as if they were the main dish over at Denny's on Washington Avenue in Ocean Springs. I'm sorry, but all you scientists and school-read folks out there are plain sick. Anyone who knows about a Christ-centered life knows that this stem cell thing is wrong and out of control. What's next? Are they going to duplicate people like robots? I'm telling you that the world really won't need men like that red-headed lesbian from the New York Times writes about. Those mad secular progressive scientists will just sit in their laboratories producing copies of lesbian women who will turn this once-great nation into one big gay commune in a few years.

That's why I love that Boehner fella from Ohio. Now if you're ever gonna do any duplicatin', copy this he-man up a million times, gentlemen. Just look at him. He's muscular, trim, tanned and ready to fight the liberals to the death. If we had thousands of John Boehners running this great land, we wouldn't have any crime. The evildoers like these scientists would be put away so that they couldn't do any more harm to our future.

I like a guy who fights for America's values, not some over-educated Harvard-type who talks down to you as if you just stumbled out of the Mississippi Delta over having your head under water for a few days. I'm not sure what I'm writing here, but I'm hot under my plumber's overalls. God Bless, Bill Orvis White