Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Academy Awards

Is this what America has come to?

The Academy Awards are nothing but a celebration of all that's wrong with the United States. It promotes sexual promiscuity, homosexuality, secularism, drug use, big government and anything that leftists love. So, I held a counter-Oscar party with Delores last night. We do this every year where we take the top film contenders and make them conservative-friendly. While the big Hollywood liberal show full of sin was playing in the background, Delores, Dale, Kyle and our church group were having the time of our lives!

Here are some of the plots that we reworked:

* "Wholemilk"-The story of Harold Wholemilk, a homosexual mayor of Maple, MS who gets fixed, marries a beautiful woman, has four kids and starts a church where they fix other homosexuals.

*"The Curious Case of Carl Cufflinks"-The story of an old drug addict who ages backwards, becomes clean and sober, finds God and Jesus and starts a church where he fixes homosexuals.

*"The Non-Reader"-The story of a gorgeous woman who never reads, stays home, cooks, cleans and starts a church where she fixes homosexuals.

*"Mexican Millionaire"-The story of an illegal Mexican worker in Mississippi who sneaks back to his country, wins money on a game show and is then caught. He gets out of trouble by giving half of his winnings to the Minutemen and the other half to a church he starts in Mississippi where he fixes homosexuals.

This is the only way I can stomach these leftist Oscar awards. I wish my cable system would block this night of left-wing cheerleading. Also, is Sean Penn an American? Call Sen. Shelby and check his papers!

God Bless you Godless Oscar watchers,BW


RottweilerTOM said...

You ARE a dumb-hick idiot!

Bill White-God, Guns, Country and Toby Keith said...

I'm sorry that you have to call me names, Tom. I'm out here fighting for what's right. I fear that our nation is becoming even worse under this president, who I'm not sure is a citizen.
Here's a fact: We are a nation founded on Judeo-Christian principles. Like it or not, but our founders would be horrified by what's going on right now: sexual promisicuity, drug use, unfair taxation and worst of all, homosexuality which I think is like cannabilism.
For the record, I'm not a hick. You write that because I'm from Mississippi. You're stereotyping me. Just because I love God, Baby Jesus, guns, my wife and boys, doesn't make me a hick.
But, I know you too can find Jesus if you look hard enough. Once you discover that a Christ-centered life is right, you will know that Bill Orvis White is right. I'll pray for you--you Secular Progressive. God Bless, BOW

RottweilerTOM said...

Like I said....and for the record, I feel very very sorry for you..

and by the way:

"The whole history of these books [the Gospels] is so defective and doubtful that it seems vain to attempt minute enquiry into it: and such tricks have been played with their text, and with the texts of other books relating to them, that we have a right, from that cause, to entertain much doubt what parts of them are genuine. In the New Testament there is internal evidence that parts of it have proceeded from an extraordinary man; and that other parts are of the fabric of very inferior minds. It is as easy to separate those parts, as to pick out diamonds from dunghills." -

Thomas Jefferson

Bill White-God, Guns, Country and Toby Keith said...

Sometimes Mr. Jefferson had lapses in judgment. History will always show that he was a god-fearing man. Tom, you cannot re-write history. I love how you liberals start championing Thomas Jefferson, a man who would be shocked by today's rampant godlessness, big government and weak people who are ready to give in to the jihadists who are planning another attack.
History will also show that former Vice President Cheney was and will always be right. This current president (who was unfairly installed--there should have been a recount in Virginia and North Carolina)is making the wrong choices as I expected. Closing Gitmo sends a signal to the terrorists to start another Holy War.
I'm sorry, Tom, but this administration has had its chance. It's time for them to step down. We have a dangerous Secretary of State in Hillary Clinton, who in my opinion, will sell this once-great nation out to the big-gov't-spending Europeans and Communist China. She's ready to sit and talk with Iran, Venezuela and even Cuba? What? What's happening to us, Tom? I fear for our future! I guess you don't care because you're a liberal who thinks we should have a weak military and a big giveaway program to deadbeats. If you're having trouble finding work, then join the military. If you can't join the military, then there would be plenty of jobs here stateside helping the military. If more good men took those jobs and the women stayed at home and educated their families, then there would be more jobs like at say, Dollar General-- for the guys who aren't in shape to fight for freedom. You see, Tom, life is very simple if you follow the Bible. Liberals like you try to make it so complicated. Look what that got us into! We kicked God out of the schools and it went downhill from there. Like Rush, O'Reilly, Hannity, Bennett and Prager say, "You just don't get it." Oh I hear you now, you naive liberal, "What about Ann Coulter, she's a woman in the workplace!" Well, my friend (who will find God), she's an educator--and a gorgeous one at that. If I lost my wife Delores, I would be with Miss Coulter in a minute. She's beautiful and smart. I'm the type of man she needs. I don't need to go through anyone to make a decision. "Men" like you (and you will be a man if you listen to me) need to go through the United Nations to make a decision. I make decisions through instinct. You see, Tom, you cannot argue with nature. Nature is God. God says that marriage is between a man and a woman.