Friday, May 30, 2008

Genetic problem with SPs

I was thinking the other day about Secular Progressives. My theory is that they have a genetic deficiency. SPs just don't get it. They don't get that Islamo-Fascists would like to kill them. They don't get that HillaryCare would bankrupt the nation. They don't get that lower taxes or even no taxes generate revenue and put more money in your pocket to do anything that you wish to do. What's wrong with SPs? Oh yeah, they say they care about others. Well, I have this to say: That's what your church is for! Hello all you McFly SPs! Wake up and smell the roses for God's sake! Oh yes and then there's the environment. Guess what all of you SPs: There is no Global Warming and there's nothing you can do about it. If there is warming, then why are the temperatures going down this year? Oh, now you're going to say, "Bill, look at all those tornadoes. That's warming evidence!" Gimme a break, you crazy SPs. Tornadoes have been around since God created this gorgeous earth. Stop your whining. I'm getting in my F-150 right now. See y'all later!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Opportunity Society

I'm a Mississippi businessman who feels that there are too many taxes and not enough prayer in our country. A lot of folks in and around town have been asking me, "Bill, who do you like for president?" Right now, I'm not endorsing anyone. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a Huckabee fan. I cried the day he dropped. I do know that I cannot endorse John McCain or the two low-lifes that are running on the other side. I like the idea of Bob Barr running for the Libertarians, but I have always questioned their lack of committment to Christ. Plus, they endorse drug use. That's as pure and simple as the soap that my mama Hilda Mae made when she grew up on the Delta. Stay tuned and maybe I'll have an endorsement. In the meantime, I will continue my crusade to save America.

Traitor!


Former Press Secretary Scott McClellan just came out with a book that says our president lied. I just have this to say to you: Traitor! Wuss! People like you are dangerous to our national security. This rotten book is just another left-wing tool that will empower the evildoers. Good goin' McClellan! I have no idea when the Islamo-Fascists are coming, but if they do, I will put you on my "To Blame List."
I do hope my president will find a way to level treason charges at you. As Jesus Christ as my Savior, I pray that you will be brought to justice.